Why Chinese People Don’t Simply Say “You’re Beautiful” ?

From the beauty of Luoshen to the grace of Song Dynasty poetry, a glimpse into the Chinese understanding of beauty, attraction, and love

In China, when someone asks, “How beautiful is she?”

We do not always answer simply, “She is beautiful.”

The word beautiful can feel too small.

It names what the eyes see, but not necessarily what the heart remembers.

For centuries, Chinese poets and those who have loved deeply have found other ways to speak of beauty. They have compared a woman’s grace to a startled swan, a wandering dragon, drifting clouds, falling snow, the first light of dawn, or a lotus rising from clear water.

They did not merely describe a face.

They described a presence.

And perhaps this is one of the most distinctive qualities of classical Chinese aesthetics: beauty is rarely treated as something to be measured. It is something to be felt.

One of the most …

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90%的美国人无法接受婚外情

众所周知,美国是一个民主的国家,宣扬平等,然而在美国,婚姻和家庭也不例外,美国的夫妻和爱都是平等的。从上世纪60年代开始,男女平等的观念就在美国深入人心了。在家庭生活中,共同承担义务、平等分担家务是基本的共识,根本没有大男人主义这一说,妻子做饭了,那丈夫肯定洗碗。我的不少美国男性朋友,一到下班时间就匆匆赶去接孩子了;在公园,左托右抱领着孩子的,多数都是爸爸;在餐厅,也常常可以看到丈夫为妻子挪开落座的凳子、挂好脱下的外套。 从各种美国大片上,给国人的印象是美国人很开放,很随便,对待感情不专一,其实这是误解了,美国人认为婚姻是神圣而庄严的。从上世纪90年代起,美国每年的民调都持续表明,有90%左右的美国人认为婚外情是错误的,并有四分之三的人认为这种行为不应该被容忍。换句话说,美国人对婚外情的容忍度很低,更别提正式的“二奶”和“小三”了。 曾经在和美国的朋友接触过程中的观察,我发现,美国人的家庭观念会令以家庭至上自居的中国人汗颜。在美国,不仅妻子爱家顾家,丈夫甚至有过之而无不及。当家庭和事业发生冲突时,无论是因为晋升,还是求学,如果要抛妻离子、两地分居,多数男性会毫不犹豫地首选家庭。因果关…
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